so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
