i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
