Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
