yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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