Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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