Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
