Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
