I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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