grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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