I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
