How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
