Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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