Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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