i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
