i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
