"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
