so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
