I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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