So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
