Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
