I'm drive I can fine osifer
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
