i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
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