we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
