As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
