I love black thongs
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
