u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
