I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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