ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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