So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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