I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
