So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
