she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
