I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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