i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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