I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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