You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
