i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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