i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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