that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
