I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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