He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
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