I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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