I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
