I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
