So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Edward fifth and chaser hands
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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