Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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