bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
