i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The adults are the big ones right?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
