id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
