so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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