bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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