I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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