i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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