my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
NoShamevember. You game?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
