Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
