He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
