Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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