Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
